you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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