so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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