just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
