Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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