wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
