Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
