I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
