I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
