She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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