i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
