your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
