Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
