you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
