gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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