Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
