She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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