Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
