i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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