they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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