If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have fence marks all over my body
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
