I think my fart just growled at me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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