Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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