I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
