The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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