I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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