I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
