Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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