hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
