thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
