Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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