I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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