Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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