You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
