Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
