ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
