it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
