Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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