I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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