update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
