shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
