...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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