what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
