your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
