ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
