For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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