You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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