So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
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You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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