i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
