Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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