i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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