He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
