...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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