Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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