Can Purell be used as lube?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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