Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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