check it out our google latitudes are spooning
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
