Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
