haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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