Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
