Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize