My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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