we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
