It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
