I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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