i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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