Pregnant stripper...not hot.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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