and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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