I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize