Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
