I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
