is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
