I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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