"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
